Friday Five: A Good Mom

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A GOOD MOM 

KNOWS EXACTLY WHO SHE IS:

You aren’t JUST a mom. You are much more than that. A good moms knows the important role that she has in her family’s life. Believe in who you are and who you are becoming. 

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A GOOD MOM 

HAS BAD DAYS: 

Those days that you sit in the chair, while utter chaos is happening, just waiting for the clock to hit bedtime. Those days that one thing happens after another and you think it’s a joke, that there are hidden cameras & microphones just waiting to punk you. Those days you just want to sit in a warm bath and never get out. Those days where you have no patience, disobedient children, screaming babies and a gigantic headache? — Good moms have bad days.

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A GOOD MOM 

ISN’T PERFECT: 

Most important!  A good mom will make mistakes & there is nothing that you can do to stop it. A good mom will wonder “what in the world did I do wrong to have days like this!?" A good mom will be confused, frustrated, anxious and nervous. A good mom learns from her mistakes and tries to do better the next time. A good mom is only HUMAN. 

...4...

A GOOD MOM 

HAS GOOD DAYS: 

Because not every day can possibly be a bad day. You then have those days where it feels as if all the stars have aligned because EVERYTHING just goes your way. You wake up before the kids and have breakfast made, a workout done and the dishes put away. You jump from one activity to another, everyone is sharing & getting along, everyone is happy, everyone is fed and everyone is dressed. Nap time lasts a little longer than usual, quiet time is actually quiet time, and you wish every day was that good. 

— Good moms have good days too.

...5...

A GOOD MOM 

IS READY FOR BED: 

A good mom doesn’t necessarily always have a ton of energy. In most cases, a good mom is exhausted. She spends her day doing so much for other people, she is ready to hit the hay at 7pm. Don't burst her bubble. She deserves it! It's a demanding job. No days off. No sick days. Work 24/7/365. 

50 Things I Wish Someone Told Me In High School

1. Do not spend more than $9 on mascara. Walmart sells ones that work just fine.

2. It won’t matter later on that he was on a high school football team. His heart is all that matters. Will he love you forever!?

3. Your push-up bra is obvious & you really don't need it anyways.

4. The eyeliner is out of control. Fix that.

5. If he cheats on you, say goodbye...don't wait it out in hoping he'll change. He won't.

6. Stop Instagraming or Facebooking your life. Not everyone cares what you're doing or who you're doing it with. Just stop.

7. Don’t tell your mom you hate her; you will regret it. She will be your rock later in life.

8. Innocence is beautiful. Don't ever feel like it's not something to cherish.

9. Call your grandma just because, she appreciates it & you will love those memories.

10. Some people will never like you; don’t let it bother you. Life has so many other people that will walk in just wait for them. 

11. Kill them with kindness. It's the best weapon.

12. TPing/Rolling houses is all fun and games till it rains and you have to clean it up. It's not so fun. & it takes a long time! 

13. You were beautiful before he told you. You always have been & you always will be no matter what he says.

14. Don’t believe stereotypes. Get to know people personally instead of judging them. Always open that first page of their book.

15. Don’t let one mistake define you. Figure out what went wrong & move on.

16. But learn from your mistakes. & make sure you don't repeat them. There's only life to live! Make it count.

17. Eat home-cooked meals. You will miss it one day. Ramen noodles & Totinos pizza will probably be your breakfast lunch & dinner in college.

18. Your mom can see a fake friend before you can. So when she says don't hang out with her or I don't like how she/he treats you...just listen!

19. Your dad can see a crappy boy before you can & he will most likely try to tell you in the nicest way possible because he doesn't want to break your heart. Don't break his heart by ignoring him. We only need one broken heart.

20. Enjoy your metabolism while it lasts. Because when you have kids it goes away. But when it goes away & you can't lose the weight, find a healthy way to lose it, don't succumb to the fake life of Hollywood.

21. There is more to life than Friday night. Make Memories!  That Friday night will turn into a movie & popcorn with your favorite little humans who you gave life to!

22. If your parents buy you something, whether it’s a McDonald’s or an iPhone, say thank you. They love you & you love them, please appreciate everything they do for you!!

23. You are more beautiful than you will ever know. You will probably not believe that whenever your told but it's true. 

24. Prom is not the “best night of your life,” but go anyway. It will be one of your "best memories."

25. High school years are not the best years of your life. You will find that out when you have your very first baby! 

26. However, enjoy high school while it lasts, you will miss some of it. & some of the people will make a lasting influence on your life.

27. Bad times make you appreciate the good times.

28. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life. Don't make a decision based off a bad day, it could change the destination of your life.

29. Stop comparing yourself to others; that will never do any good. Only compare you to YOU & make tomorrow a better day. 

30. Learn to forgive. Also learn that not everyone deserves your trust. Again you have to open their book at least once.

31. Learn to apologize. You're not to good to "I'm Sorry"

32. He isn’t the love of your life. Your world may revolve around him now, but I promise you dear you will be fine without him.

33. Sex does not make you mature or an adult. It actually makes you more childish if you think you're ready before you truly are. 

34. Stop pretending to be someone you are not to impress people. BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU!

35. Keep a journal. You will love looking back on what happened 5 years ago.

36. You’ll regret spending $90 on that Abercrombie fur vest. Pay a bill. Act like an adult. Real Life.

37. Eat the dang doughnut. 5 lbs is just a myth I promise your butt won't grow because you ate a doughnut.

38. Love isn't something you just throw back and forth in the lost and found. It's something you JUST KNOW.

39. Pray for your future husband every once in a while. He is waiting & possibly praying for you too. 

40. Pray for your future kids too. They will be the best things in your life one day. 

41. Take those ACT prep classes seriously. They will save your life. 

42. Hug your grandpa every chance you get. He likes to know he's loved to!

43. Write thank you notes for everything. Appreciation goes far! 

44. Tell your favorite high school teacher she rocks. Again appreciation is everything. 

45. Nothing good happens past midnight. So GO HOME at curfew!

46. Put others before yourself. (There are exceptions)

47. Unless that person is an ex-boyfriend. You deserve happiness, stop worrying about him. He deserves nothing. 

48. If you love God, then you should love people.

49. Stop speeding; especially on turns. Also stop at stop signs. Do you like that heart dropped feeling. Avoid it & obey the rules. 

50. Enjoy life. It goes by faster than you think.

To all of the high school girls reading this–I hope you never forget that even though life sometimes stinks, you will have plenty of moments that make you forget about the hard times. You will have moments of laughter, joy, and thankfulness that compensate for the time you failed your math test or the boy broke your heart. Be willing to adventure through life, and go through the bad with a smile knowing the best is yet to come. Embrace your innocence and stop trying to grow up. You only get to be a kid once; so enjoy the end of the beginning while you can.

"One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”– One Tree Hill

Being A Mommy

 When I was old enough to start babysitting kids, outside of my little brother & sister, I couldn't help but wonder what life would be like when I became a mommy.

I wondered how many I would have. I wondered if I would have a little dancer like her momma or a little boy who every time he came to me with owies to kiss I would be wrapped one more time around his pinky finger! 

My dreams of becoming a mommy weighed heavily after I met the man I knew I was destined to marry. Never did I picture being a step-mom. There is not a day that goes by, I regret that. I love him & can't picture our lives without him. 

The day I gave birth to Carter was the day my life truly started. I had never loved someone so much. He instantly made my heart melt, again & again with every new milestone. That first smile, the first coo & then it's that first time you hear the word mama. Nothing will top that. 

We continued to have babies...Wyatt... Peyton & life became wild & chaotic. It's hard to focus on just one little one when we have four.  You don't picture what life will really be like. You dream of motherhood, not being a mommy. Those are two different aspects of a mom. 

Motherhood is pictured as 8 hours of sleep, because your babies are perfect enough to sleep through the night first week home. A simple daily schedule of owning a clean & organized house all time. You must dress your littles in expensive clothes to keep up with fashion. Clean faces who behave at all times in all the places you go. Motherhood could quite possibly be the easiest job ever...

If it were ANYTHING like that. It's not!

Being a mommy, is wondering when the last time your greasy hair was washed? If that spot on your shirt or pants is adult food, baby food, dog snot or poop. I am lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep on a regular basis, because of a colicky baby & a 6 year old who has nightmares. I don't get to work out daily because my wilds climb on me while I'm planking & think it's because I'm a buckin bull. I am still carrying unecessary weight on my scarred stomach with which I gave birth by C-Section to those two littles. I am constantly hearing tattle tale rants & deciding on who farted or burped. 

These boys have completely run over me on days where I feel like I could give up at any moment. Those faces I kiss & hug every night with a goodnight have me at their every beckon call. I would do anything to make sure they feel loved & safe. On days when I, as a person, feel at my lowest Carter whispers in Wyatts ear " Tell Mommy She's Beautiful." They are my rocks. 

I will enjoy them as littles & treasure every moment I have with these little stinkers! 

Things I Learned Raising a Challenged Child

It has been a rough week for sleep here in the Mecham household.

This past weekend we went to Firth! I always get huge anxiety & panic attacks when we decide to go! Peyton hardly sleeps at home but you bring him out of his comfort zone & he freaks. Every single time we go I think this may be a good weekend....

This weekend was not the winning weekend! It was awful! All he does is cry & cling to my leg! 

You see, Peyt has never been one of those kids who could just roll with the punches. He has always been special to me, but sometimes I wonder if we all spoiled him a little to much.

I consider him my life lesson, because I’m pretty sure God had just a few things he wanted me to learn:

Lesson 1:  You are not in control

I can admit that I tend to be a bit of a control freak.  I like to be in charge, I like to have lists & plans! 

From day one, Peyt has flat-out refused to be confined to any sort of schedule, and believe me, it wasn’t for my lack of trying or the nurses! The only somewhat routine we EVER had was Primary Childrens. & that's because HE had to be! For the first two or three months of his life after we brought Peyton home, we tried desperately to get him into some sort of predictable routine, reading every single child baby book & blog we could. It just wasn’t to be.  I finally gave up and then started to realize that a lack of schedule meant a lot more flexibility.  I started to learn how to roll with the punches and just take it one minute or hour at a time! I stopped stressing out about the fact that he wasn’t napping when I thought he should or napping for as long as he should and started appreciating more the moments when he was peaceful & playing with his brothers!

Lesson 2. Attitude Is Everything

A mom sets the tone! I think what they meant by that is that if the mom is crabby or depressed or ornery, then every one else follows suit.  Over the years, we’ve had to remind each other every once in a while, but it is so true.

It would be easy for me to wallow in the fact that Peyt is, well, a challenge.

It would be easy for me to feel sorry for myself when I only end up getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep because he has kept us up all night.  Again.

It would be easy for me to get very irritable after spending the day listening to him yell. And scream. And cry.

[Almost] continuously.

All. Day. Long.

And I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I do wallow or feel sorry for myself or get irritable.

But I try not to.  Because it doesn’t help.  It makes things worse.  And really, truly, there are many people who have far worse problems then a miserable child.  I’ll survive.  And one we day we hope that he will grow out of it.

When I find myself up at 3am and unable to go back to sleep, I take the time for myself. Because I know at those points when I want my own time during the day, it's not happening!

Lesson 3.  Stuff really isn’t all that important.

I like nice things.  I like my house to be pretty and clean.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Except when having nice things becomes the most important thing in my life.

Last week Peyton gave me a clear understanding of why my house will never be completely clean! He pushed off multiple bags of chips, goldfish, sugar, ya know EVERYTHING, off the table after I'd just deep cleaned the whole kitchen! 

Lesson 4. Relax!

When it comes to this little munchkin, I have learned not to sweat the small stuff.  In fact, my rule is thatif he's not choking, screaming, or in danger of drowning, I’ll probably just let him do whatever he's doing. 

He is that kid, the one that puts everything in his mouth, and for my own sanity,  I’ve simply learned to let it go.  He ate dog food constantly. Not just one or two pieces. Like handfuls. & lays down on his belly like a dog & drinks their water. The first ten or twenty times, it really bothered me and I did everything I could to stop him. Anytime he'd see me go in a different room out of sight of the kitchen he'd make a mad dash for the dog food container. I finally concluded there wasn’t much I could do about it.  So I stopped trying.  And eventually–thankfully–he got tired of it.  In his short life he has eaten gravel, dirt, sand, crayons, markers, day-old half-eaten chicken nuggets, beads, and probably a whole lot of other things I don’t even know about.  And you know what?  He's fine.

He is also the kid that empties every drawer, every cabinet, every box, every basket, every bookshelf every single day.  He can’t seem to help himself.  He will push chairs, stools, ladders, and anything else she can find to where he needs it in order to get to what he wants.  We have resorted to child-proofing the house as much as possible and then letting the chips fall where they may.

5.  At the end of the day, love is all that matters.

I continue to be amazed at the infinite capacity of my love for my kids.  Even when they drive me absolutely crazy, I love them more than I could’ve ever thought possible.  They are the reason I get up in the morning. No matter how naughty, how annoying, how infuriating, how frustrating, they are mine and I would move heaven and earth for them.

Peyt is a challenging kid, but he also has many redeeming qualities.  He is funny, adorable, charming, sweet, loving, smart, beautiful, sensitive, goofy, strong, inquisitive, observant, loyal, just to name a few.  But even if he wasn’t any of those, I would still love him more than life itself.

And honestly, I don’t think I could’ve possibly understood God’s love for me, a hopeless screw-up, until I had him.

Because as much as I love him, God’s love for me is even greater & He entrusted me with such an amazingly special little boy it's amazing! 

It makes sense now.

And yet it doesn’t.

I’ve probably got a few more lessons yet to learn.

Why I Love Being A Boymom

Kameron came in to our world 11 months before we got married. He may not be be mine biologically, but that little boy has a VERY special place in my heart! 

From the time I found out I was pregnant with my first baby I was in love. When we found out it was a boy I was overjoyed to know the love & bond my husband would have with TWO little boys! Watching Carter grow into the little boy I've always wanted was more than I could have hoped for. 

Then our second pregnancy was ANOTHER boy! W made his entrance into the world the only way he knows how... utter chaos screaming attention!!

I soon came to see the bond these little boys would form! & with our last pregnancy, everyone hoped it would be a girl!, I secretly knew & hoped for another little boy!! My wish came true when baby boy Peyton entered our lives!! 

I couldn't be happier with "The Wilds" runnin around! I love being a BOYMOM!

Here Are 6 Reasons Why::

1. Dressing Them Is Easier (and Cheaper)

Seriously I was never the type of girl to get all dolled up. I hated wearing earing or rings. I wore jeans & a t-shirt. So the thought of having to do a little girls hair & dress them to the 9 was scary. I wanted my little dancers, but I will take these boys who can get themselves dressed in jeans & a t-shirt who run around wanting their shirts off so they can beat their chests. 

2. They're Fun.

I've never ran around my house hiding from Nerf guns, or jump off my couch pretending to be Shredder from TMNT. I've never agreed to being dirty & FINE with it until these boys came along. My bathtub gets cleaned on a DAILY basis in the summertime because it's filled with dirt by the end.

3. Life Is Not Serious Or Dramatic All The Time.

I've never had a day go by that I'm not giggling or writing something down that's stinkin hilarious that these little boys do or say. We have daily tickling fits & they burp & fart in my face because they think it's funny. Ya learn to deal with it!

4. I Worry Less.

You may think I'd worry more with them & their crazy shenanigans. But when they fight each other, they duke it out for 5 minutes & then they're done. No crying over it 3 hours laters. They are adventurous. They explore & I love watching their imaginations grow. I don't worry that they will never explore life.

5. I Laugh More.

For most of the day I'm laughing at the stories they come up with! Or the things they put on their heads! I smile because they are beyond the best boys I've ever seen! They make each other happy & laugh when playing together! 

6. Boys Love Their Mamas.

I've never had such a strong connection with someone. I literally have loved these little humans since the second that pregnancy test said positive. I have such a love for their personalities & sympathy for them when they are hurt or sad. We snuggle. We give eskimo & butterfly kisses. And the best part is even after rough days & timeouts they still tell me they love me every single night.